Thursday, January 11, 2007

Motives for Unsolicited Advice

Do you ever wonder why there are some people who just have to say something critical or give you advice when you didn't ask for it? I finally found a site that puts into words what I have been observing but couldn't quite put into words. There are people who give advice when you don't ask and you are fine with what they have to say because they say it in a tactful manner. Then there are those who offer advice and you just start seething!

For those that make you seeth these are the not so helpful ways why they are offering their free advice service:
Less Helpful Motives for Unsolicited Advice:

Much Less Helpful Motives for Unsolicited Advice:

Establishment of Dominance: Some advice-givers would like to take the role of ‘more knowledgeable person’ in the relationship dynamic, and giving advice puts them in that position.

Passing Judgment: Sometimes when people have seen something in you that they don’t like, they give unsolicited advice as a way to change it. This advice can often feel like an insult more than a genuine attempt to help.

Desire for Drama: Believe it or not, some people love conflict, love hearing themselves argue, and get a feeling of personal power from telling others how wrong they are. Such people, consciously or unconsciously, tend to give lots of advice as a way of bringing up topics to debate.
This type of advice has more to do with the advice-giver than with you, and it can sometimes feel like a subtle snub or a slap in the face, and leave you with an uneasy feeling, even if you don’t know why.


from :http://stress.about.com/od/relationships/a/types_of_advice.htm